Friday, July 21, 2006

Finding that special someone in China

Let's face it, everyone needs some love and affection. I have to say that on average the Chinese women are among the most beautiful on earth. I am not just talking about the outer beauty but they are also possess an inner beauty that is very appealing. Now I am an older guy, even though my Chinese name is Yong Bu Lao, never grows old, I'm sure I could get a much younger women. Asian women don't mind being with an older man. I think you will be much happier with a woman that is closer to your age. Here in China there are many women that have divorced and these women sometimes find it difficult to find another man. Plus young women here are just so immature, they have little experience romantically or at least that is what they profess. Chinese men generally don't want a ready made family or even a women who is divorced, they have that old fashioned attitude of "she is used goods". Now that in itself is quite ironic as they might run the streets, and frequent massage parlors or worse, so the double standard is quite pervasive. It's easy to get divorced in China so there are many women in their thirties and forties who are without a man.

I recommend that you never date anyone at the school you are teaching at, especially the students. There are too many predatory teachers breaking hearts and giving the teachers a bad name. It is quite easy to meet a nice woman here. If you can't find one on the streets, meaning you may just happen to talk to someone when you are out and about, then I know you can find one on Asianfriendfinder. You can test the waters a bit and email them and then meet for a lunch or dinner at a public place and ease into it. Chinese women are quite reserved and before you can become close you will need to show them your better qualities. For some that can take quite awhile, for others it is about the same as in the west. It's hard to generalize about this but I have had good luck with the online dating that is available at Asianfriendfinder. Perhaps you may chose to find a partner when you are out and about. This is a bit harder it seems to me. Most don't go out and party and friends or relations may try and set them up. My advise, get a woman and leave the girls alone. You also need to realize that a thirty year old could still be a girl. Many don't mature much until the reality of marriage sets in. In general, both boys and girls are really immature in China. The only thing they know is school and that is their major if not only responsibility, everything else is given to them by their parents. So don't expect them to be like the girls you know at home who have been dating since they were 16, because it just isn't the way it is. Most have no where to go to have any privacy and they are more intimate with their girlfriends than with boys, as they are basically segregated, and truthfully college girls are about the equivalent mentally and emotionally to a junior high school girl, so how fun could that be? Of course if you are a recent college grad yourself and teaching abroad then I'm sure it would be okay for you. The main point is, it's a whole different ballgame here. In many ways I feel it is really sad. Most Chinese young people have little to no life experience until they decide to get married. The only thing they know is school and study, they really don't have the same kind of learning regarding social skills, relationships, as we do in the west. Once they are married that's it, the work life has begun, then the child, and taking care of the folks and that's it. End of story. I know this sounds very generalized and of course that is not a good thing to do, but these things are generally true.

Here is a contrast, by the time I was 19, I had lived in my own house, had worked, had been to the university, had traveled to Europe with two buddies, had 20-30 girlfriends, not all at once, wink, and had been doing summer jobs since I was 12 years old. The average 19 year old in China has never had any kind of job, does not have any responsibilities at home beyond studying, has never been intimate, gets everything from his parents, has never been out of his country, feels he is too young to have a girlfriend, is more comfortable walking with his arm around his male friends than with a girl, has never been on a date, has never kissed a girl, dreams of being given a high paying job that requires little or no work.

I guess that is why we call it a foreign country.

Larry aka worldtour

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